I think that there was definite love there, the issue, imo is that he masks heavily because he doesn't have the skills needed to connect with a partner on a the level he wants to, but struggles to. The issue is the ability to be vulnerable as vulnerability leads to connection. Many on the spectrum struggle a great deal with vulnerability because they struggle to regulate their emotional regulation due to a lack of skills. It's not unusual for someone on the spectrum to remain in contact (or want to remain in contact with an ex, the ex may have a different idea as they may be in pain from the relationships failure), just not being forced to have the day to day interaction that is a source of strain on their mental reserves. The fact that Affleck has remained in such close contact with his ex wife is another tell for me. I get he would remain in contact because they have children but he's been connecting with his ex like someone who is like a spouse, not just an ex on friendly terms (just from what I'm observing from the media. Obviously I can't verify one way or the other). Once the pressure to connect is removed, many ND feel safer opening up because they know they can leave at anytime, not tethered to the relationship. I've met quite a few men on the spectrum who have a deep fear, almost phobia like, of feeling trapped. I think that's a tell of being afraid of being vulnerable/not knowing how to be vulnerable and afraid of being set up to fail in a relationship where they are committed and can't easily escape when they are feeling flooded with emotions they don't know how to process (like shame, feeling of failure, etc.).
Fascinating. Does the fact he went back and married JLo again have any bearing on your thesis?
I think that there was definite love there, the issue, imo is that he masks heavily because he doesn't have the skills needed to connect with a partner on a the level he wants to, but struggles to. The issue is the ability to be vulnerable as vulnerability leads to connection. Many on the spectrum struggle a great deal with vulnerability because they struggle to regulate their emotional regulation due to a lack of skills. It's not unusual for someone on the spectrum to remain in contact (or want to remain in contact with an ex, the ex may have a different idea as they may be in pain from the relationships failure), just not being forced to have the day to day interaction that is a source of strain on their mental reserves. The fact that Affleck has remained in such close contact with his ex wife is another tell for me. I get he would remain in contact because they have children but he's been connecting with his ex like someone who is like a spouse, not just an ex on friendly terms (just from what I'm observing from the media. Obviously I can't verify one way or the other). Once the pressure to connect is removed, many ND feel safer opening up because they know they can leave at anytime, not tethered to the relationship. I've met quite a few men on the spectrum who have a deep fear, almost phobia like, of feeling trapped. I think that's a tell of being afraid of being vulnerable/not knowing how to be vulnerable and afraid of being set up to fail in a relationship where they are committed and can't easily escape when they are feeling flooded with emotions they don't know how to process (like shame, feeling of failure, etc.).
Very well written and thought provoking.
Enjoyed very much.
Thank you.
This was so unexpected and sooo interesting!